Below is a piece I wrote and never put up. My apologies to Russ. You should apologize to him, too. He'll appreciate it. While my experience did not include trick candles, similar positive sentiments were enjoyed. Yea, we embraced even far more mature (insert 'trivial' here) matters than that party. Balloons, pinatas and birthday crowns to be exact.
Many thanks to friends and family who helped make closing out another year one of the best exists yet. Here, are my thoughts on turning 26.
The 26 List
I knew watching Russ blow out his 26 candles would be like watching him extinguish one more ray of hope leading toward his marriageability. I knew it. But this time, something was different.
By the grace of science, one of the candles came back on. And then another and another. Everyone in the (tiny) front room roared with laughter as the big bad wolf huffed and puffed but couldn't blow the flames out. Listening to everyone's excitement and seeing the grin worn by our birthday boy (man), I knew it wasn't going to be all glum and frowns heading into his next year. I knew this time was very different because, unlike my buddy's seventh birthday, no one was crying for fear their wish wouldn't be granted.
He never did get his pony.
Then it hit me: There are a lot of cool things about getting older which drown out the sound of the death bells which line the path leading toward graduating from the singles ward sans honors. While some of you reading this may only have a few more years with which the Church will continue to grant you the title of young single adults, there are some things that get better with age. And while I don't know if it's true with wine, I'm beginning to realize some of the "can do's" that help off-set the "haven't done's" in our lives.
Here, my fellow sojourners, is a “Things That Don't Bite About Being 26” list. Go ahead, let's count those blessings like our friend The Count taught us:
Number One: Not getting in trouble for putting trick candles on the birthday cake. No pouting. No wondering if it's going to ruin the party! It just is. And they except it. The birthday 'kid' would be excited if the candle's didn't have to burn out.
Two: Knees. Do you remember how horrible it was when you skimmed your knee at 6? Even 7? Even if you do end up roughing up your knees a little, we now have enough control not to make that awful face we made way back when. You know what I'm talking about. It's the one that looks like your face might squeeze in on itself and accidentally implode. If closing my eyes that hard would have solved the problem, I would still play pic-a-boo until the cows come home.
Three: Knowing what 'implode' means without having to look at an older brother or sister for direction.
Four: Apples. It doesn't take me ten nibbles to clear out the side of an apple.
Five (and a big one!): When I walk down the cereal aisle, I don't fiendishly wait while hoping my mom will pass up the two-scoops of raisiny goodness (as moms like to call it) so that I can get my morning sugar fix. No. I go straight for the boxes of both fruity and choco pebbles without regret. And once I get them home, I know I can eat them w-h-e-n-e-v-e-r I want. And when one of the boxes is gone in three days, I'll gladly go get some more.
Six: Enjoying N-A-P-S. That's right. I spelled it out for two reasons. A) You can read my spelling for dramatic affect. B) As a reminder: Have ever you seen our happily married friends accidentally slip and say the "nap" in front of their two year old?! My attitude towards naps is much, much more nap friendly. And while I don't get a nap in as often as I'd like, I thoroughly enjoy them when I do. What I wouldn't give if my boss came into my office in the early afternoon and 'forced' me to take a nap. Imagine yourself screaming at them, "I DON'T WANT TO NAAA-AAA-AAAA--P!"
The list may only be a start, but hopefully the above items help me and you remember some of the sugar accompanying the spice. Mainly, I don't want any of you old people changing your gchat emoticons to this :'-(. The darkening of each candle on a birthday cake might signify to our parents the loss of yet another ray of hope leading to our fleeting celestial bliss. But you don't have to embrace that. You can embrace unhealthy cereal, naps and trick candles. Here's to being 26 (or more)!
What other things rock about being a menace to society at 26? Leave a comment here.
